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Senile jokes.....

 
 

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

 

 
 

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A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life.
"Well..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."

"My goodness Jack, and at your age too." the doctor said. "I hope you took at least some precautions."

"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave 'em all a phony name."

   
 

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  It seems there is a virus called the "Senile Virus" that even the most advanced programs of Norton and McAfee cannot take care of it ..... so be warned. The virus appears to affect those of us who were born before 1960! Symptoms of the Senile Virus:
  1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
  2. Causes you to send blank e-mail.
  3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
  4. Causes you to send e-mail back to the person who sent it to you.
  5. Causes you to forget to attach attachments.
  6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the e-mail.
   
 

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  SENILE.COM found ... Out of Memory    
 

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  A rather senile old lady went to her doctor complaining of draining and a feeling of fullness in her ear. After the examination, the doctor initiated a conversation that went as follows:

D: Why madam, I think you have a suppository in your ear.
L: ?eh?
D: Madam - You have a SUPPOSITORY in your EAR!
L: ??EH??
D: (shouting) --IN YOUR EAR! -- A SUPPOSITORY!!!
L: Oh, thank Goodness - now I know where I put my hearing aid....
   
     
 
 
 

 

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